Dear employers, I will have to take the day off today because:
☐ It’s December and the streets are papier-mached with wet bronze leaves and it’s so dark outside that the cars have their headlights on at 3pm
☐ I have recently been through a breakup, or I have been through a breakup at any time in my life really, and I woke up today with the absolute conviction that I will never be loved again
☐ A dog looked at me
☐ I got a text from someone for whom I feel a mix of concern and frustration and recognition and longing that is both more and less than romance
☐ Someone made a joke about dead pets meeting you in heaven
☐ Daylight savings time
☐ I passed a knot of flowers that were so bright they glowed through the dim grey water of the day and when was anything in my life last that luminous?
☐ Girls are too pretty
☐ For the first time I genuinely comprehend that there is not enough time to have all the lives I wanted
☐ I accidentally listened to Leonard Cohen"
Sometimes I wonder exactly when I started to equate bad things to being alone.
My blog is around 90% porn and 10% writing
there’s really nothing in between
With each passing night it becomes easier to repress the desire to sleep. 2:30 comes around, and then passes 3:30, and when 4:30 approaches my eyes stop fighting me and focus, sharply, intently because they finally understand that we don’t have to stop. We don’t need to fucking rest, to go to a quiet dark place, we need to feel and to create, we need to bleed. There’s no time. I can’t be bothered with sleep. There’s no time.
I’ve been feeling really crappy in my body lately because I didn’t take care of it. so I took a moment for myself, did my nails had a nice home made meal, a long bath and took some pictures. tomorrow I’ll go swimming.
also omg I’m naked on the internet call the cops.