Play // Goapele
Just kidding I’m the coolest
I am not cool
I can’t decide what exists and what doesn’t. We’ve created something new here, a hybrid. If I’ve done nothing more than craft this, in this moment, then I’ve done something right. Alliterative figures. Figurative egos. Natasha Nice meets Kelsey Kind. A union like no other. Do I exist outside of this bedroom? Inside of that screen? Do I exist at all? Somewhere between slumland apartments and candyland versions of places I’d imagined home might look like I’ve carved myself an existence, tacked portraits on the walls to remind me of all the times I’d come and gone.
“I see you looking at my tits, it’s okay. Look at them.”
“Fuck, you’re hot. This is hot.” There is a bead of sweat sitting on your collar bone, your hair is slicked back and I want to remember you, just like this, so I close my eyes and envision your likeness embossing a roll of film. I’ll remember this one, this time. “I want you to see how hot we are.” Eyes open again, I can’t actually see anything beyond you, and I’m not sure if it’s the angle or the dozens of blind spots I’ve put up. You stop, reach across me, the mountains of pillows, to your phone; take a photo of us. Close up. Closer than anyone else gets. “This is so fucking hot.” Excitement is dripping down your face, sweat is dripping down your sides. The picture didn’t look like either you or I, but it did look like us. Individually we’re graphic, together we’re obscene.
Quizzical looks exchanged. Embraces laced with questions of why, “Why me?” Maybe I’m doing it because I’m a compulsive limit pusher. I have to push. Mentally, physically, myself, people around me. I want to see them break, I want to see everything smashed to bits, and I want to be the one clever enough to figure out how to put them back together. Everything is a puzzle, I can solve it, I swear. You once said you wanted to be both the object of fear and the object of comfort. Perhaps everything is a puzzle to you too.
We’ve crossed a point where I can’t even tell what’s real and what’s fantasy anymore.
Just saw a pigeon eat a piece of glass. Evolution is beautiful.
Adventures in Babysitting will be permitted for the time being.
TUMBLR IS NOT A DATING PROFILE
Petition to ban the word “adventures” from dating profiles